Friday, September 25, 2009

My terrier is broken!

I absolutely have to tell you this amusing story.. it is a true story.

This past weekend a friend, my American Staffordshire Terrier (Justice) and I went to the cottage. We arrived late Saturday night very tired. After carrying all our stuff in we sat down in the living room to enjoy the peace and quiet of Muskoka. 

I heard a “rustling” noise several times that seemed to come from the vicinity of the kitchen. We both heard the noise, but Justice didn't seem to give it a second thought so that was good enough for me. It isn't odd to hear animals outside on the wrap around deck frolicking in the night.

At about 1:30 I went to bed. I fell asleep quite quickly but was awakened to the sound of my friend yelling “Lori!!! There is a squirrel in here!!!”
You know what it is like when you wake up from a dead sleep. I was rather stunned but yelled back, “I'll let Justice out of my room!”

I opened the door and the next thing I saw was a little squirrel running past the bookshelf with Justice trotting behind it. Neither the squirrel or Justice were moving very fast; at least not by what I would consider hunting speed. The squirrel disappeared somewhere behind the TV. 

I turned to ask my friend what transpired. He said he was playing a game on his cell phone when a cheeky squirrel ran out and crossed the living room, darting in and out of furniture. At one point it ran across the room and banged into the sliding glass door. My friend opened the door and screen and tried to chase the little guy out but the squirrel didn't seem able to find his way back to the great outdoors. 

We looked for several minutes but there was no sign of the squirrel so I suggested we go back to bed, close the bedroom doors and deal with the squirrel in the morning.

I quickly fell back to sleep but was awakened again by Justice jumping off the bed. I heard a scratch, scratch… on the floor. I woke up much quicker this time! I realized the squirrel is now in my bedroom! I had a lamp by my bedside so I turned it on without getting out of bed. Much to my amazement, here was a little squirrel, the size of a chipmunk, sitting huddled in the corner of my bedroom with Justice staring him down. Justice's nose was about a foot and a half away from the squirrel with his head hung low I could see Justice's nose moving as he sniffed. I managed a weak “get it!”, but Justice made no move toward the squirrel. The squirrel had huge black eyes and seemed rather stunned. Once he saw that this rather huge by comparison dog was not making a move to kill, the squirrel ran past Justice and jumped on the chair in the corner of the room underneath the window.

I now made my move to open the bedroom door and yell at my friend, “the squirrel is in my bedroom!!!!”

My friend now came to the doorway of my room and I grabbed the phone to call my aunt and uncle who have the cottage next door. I am not sure what I expected them to do at (now 4:00am). My aunt said to close the bedroom door and deal with it in the morning.. Meanwhile back in my bedroom I was getting a running commentary from my friend telling me the squirrel was on my bed, on my pillow, on the chair, jumping all around my bedroom. I appeared back in my bedroom doorway to see the squirrel jump onto the blind and try to escape out the window, however the screen was preventing his escape from Alcatraz. 

While this commotion was happening, Justice was hanging out in the living room! Yes, my terrier is ~BROKEN~ WHAT THE HELL? AREN'T DOGS NATURALLY SUPPOSED TO CHASE AND KILL SMALL MOVING ANIMALS?
There is a shelf above the window that has books stacked on top so it is quite near the ceiling. The squirrel climbed up the wall and found a temporary safe haven on top of the books above the window. 

My friend decided it was a good idea to take the broom and “encourage” the squirrel to find its way to the now open window and embrace freedom. The squirrel was hiding his head in his own fur trying the old trick, if I can't see them… they can't see me? The closer my friend got with the broom, the more nervous the squirrel became. It was now moving back and forth across the books. I was standing behind my friend while he began throwing books at the squirrel. 

All of a sudden the squirrel launched himself at my friend! It was a flying squirrel!


My friend squealed like a girl and I ducked out of the way but saw the squirrel fly into the bedroom across the hall. I quickly closed the door with the squirrel contained in the other bedroom. All I could think of was Chevy Chase at that moment. A Griswold weekend at the cottage was shaping up quite nicely. 

My friend, now traumatized, grabbed a towel, throw rug, cooler and a box to secure the little 2 oz squirrel. He saw to it there would be NO escape from this room. Once the squirrel was secured, my friend realized his cell phone was with the squirrel.

I finally went back to bed. It was now 4:30am. I woke up the next morning to a cell phone ringing repeatedly. I guess the squirrel wasn't answering?
In the morning my aunt and uncle arrived with pest control paraphernalia in hand. They brought a laundry basket (with lid) and gloves. My aunt announced she was “going in”. She began hunting around the room for the nocturnal squirrel but out of the corner of her eye she spotted the little squirrel laying dead on the floor.

Not sure how the poor little fella died. Maybe he had a heart attack after a 75 pound American Staffordshire Terrier turned him down as a snack and 2 humans squealed and chased him with a broom.

The moral of the story is, don't assume your terrier will protect your ass from wild animals. They surely don't necessarily answer the call of what they were “bred” to do… 

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